How Do You Correct One’s Fault?

Jesus said: “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother.”

The biblical phrase above can be considered as a suggestion given by the Lord on how to maintain a good relationship despite conflicts people are engaged in. Jesus shows to us that relationships are important. It is because having relationships is a nature of human beings. People need one another to make their lives happier and meaningful. Human beings are also social beings where they can relate to fellow humankind and with whom they can share their lives’ stories. No man is in an island. 

We know from the Bible how God always takes the first step to reach out to humankind, to build a relationship. We know how God breathed forth life-giving spirits to the first man and woman in order for them to have a heavenly relationship with Him. We also know from the story of Moses in the Old Testament how God called him to bring out the Israelites from the slavery in Egypt and how this call becomes a call of friendship, God and man speaking face to face. In a most profound way, God the Father sent His only Son Jesus Christ to redeem the world and to bring reconciliation to the broken relationship men’s sins have made between God and His people. Those are clear proofs how God from the very beginning always initiates to build relationships with humankind.

Here I speak of relationships in general. I use a book authored by Alan Loy McGinnis, The Friendship Factor, as to give me some practical insights about relationships. It says in the book that sometimes it is the nature of intense relationships to create conflict. I see this true because when we have relationships, we are dealing with people who are far from perfection. If the people whom we are with possess perfection, I guess, they will grow their wings just like the angels and they will depart from this world because it is a place lived by numerous sinners. So, always expect that some conflicts will come to surface along the way.

What if I have been trying hard to maintain a good relationship but my brother always makes me upset? I guess there is no such a perfect relationship or perfect family or a perfect community or even a perfect country. There are always loopholes. The best thing we can do is to accept the fact that people sometimes fail to be constantly virtuous, to be patient with them and of course to forgive their offenses. If we wish to correct them, always keep in mind that they are people of frailty and we must show love in order to win them over. Criticisms or harsh words will not be helpful because we will just fail ourselves and then get frustrated. We cannot also take control over other people’s attitudes because this will only lead us to a permanent misery. So, better be flexible and accept the fact that human beings are discerning for perfection.

Thus, let us always be reminded that when we correct others, it should always be with a fraternal manner where love is the proper means. We do not want to lose the relationship only because of our wrong method in dealing with people or our stubbornness. What a great failure if we come to realize that we have lost the person because we fail to see God in each individual.